Gospel according to John

Tonight we finish a 3-day Lenten retreat conducted by Fr. Felix Just, S.J. He is a noted biblical scholar and Director of Biblical Education at the Loyola Institute for Spirituality in Orange, CA. Father has shown us some of the contrasts between the Fourth Gospel and the three Synoptic Gospels of Matthew, Mark and Luke. He has opened our eyes to the literary features and the theology of John's Gospel and reinforced what my wife and I have learned through our encounters with Centering Prayer groups and with the Benedictine Spirituality we have experienced as Oblates at Prince of Peace Abbey. Fr. Just has a great website at http://catholic-resources.org.

My first and only strip tease show

No, I didn't GO to a strip tease show: I PUT ON a strip tease show.

As PR guy for a Chicago-based financial futures exchange--you know, one of those places where the trade futures contracts for foreign currencies or stock market indices--I helped, in a small way, set up other exchanges in Singapore, Ireland and Brazil. 

One of those exchanges was in São Paulo, Brazil. BTW, that exchange now is one of the world's biggest and most successful, but not because of me. I only helped get them started. Anyway, after helping them with the easy stuff for a month or so, it was time for me to go back to Chicago for my real job. My new Brazilian friends staged a farewell lunch for me, and I decided to have a little fun with them.

There had been a lot of political turmoil at that time, and the guys in power had set up a parliamentary system, with a handpicked prime minister. But there were a bunch of other guys who were demanding direct elections and a return to the presidential system. The “Diretas Ja” (Direction Elections Now!) movement, calling for immediate presidential elections, was in full swing at that point. I bought a tee shirt with that slogan emblazed on the front. The day of the lunch I wore it underneath my dress shirt and tie. 

While I was giving my farewell speech and thanking my hosts, I said that I was feeling a little hot so I took off my paletó (suit jacket), hung it on my chair and resumed talking. Then I wiped my forehead and said, “Forgive me, but it is really hot in here,” taking off my tie and hanging it on the suit jacket. After a few more sentences, I again complained about the heat and to the astonishment of my friends, I finally removed my shirt, showing the slogan that had become the marching song of such political figures as Tancredo Neves and Leonel Brizola, as well as several popular Brazilian signers such as Gilberto Gil and Chico Buarque de Holanda. 

There was a moment of stunned silence, then they all broke out in laughter and I finished my “strip tease speech”to the loudest and longest lasting round applause that any of my usually boring speeches has ever received.

Okay! Okay! It wasn't a complete strip tease. But I wish my mom had been there. When I was a kid she and I used to sing duets, mostly Irish songs. But there was one that we really liked about "Queenie, the cutie of the burlesque show who stopped--and always just in time." That's what I did that day: I stopped just in time.

My brief career as a presidential interpreter

As a PR guy at the Federal Reserve Board in the early 80s, then Chairman Paul Volcker called me into his office one day and told me he was going on an official visit to Brazil. "Do they speak any English down there, Sims?" Sensing an opportunity to gain an official passport and take a whirlwind trip back to my beloved Brazil, I said "No, sir. You will definitely need an interpreter.

So I accompanied him in September 1981. As we walked with finance minister Ernane Galveas and the head of the Banco Central to a meeting with then president João Figuereido, Galveas--whom I knew well from my days as a journalist down there--whispered, "Joe, the interpreter is running late. You'll have to do the job." I gulped but agreed. The president lit into Volcker because of high interest rates and other stuff, and Ernane kept trying unsuccessfully to get him to stop so I could translate. After about 15 minutes he did stop, and looked at me to tell the Fed chairman what was wrong with the world economy. I turned to Volcker, who was also looking at me expectantly. I took a deep breath and said, "he says interest rates are too high, it's hurting the Brazilian economy and you're to blame." Everyone looked at me as though I would have more to say, but I folded my arms and waited for Volcker's reply. "He's been talking for 15 minutes and you mean that's all he said?"

"Well, yes, that's pretty much it," I explained weakly.

My first peanut butter-jelly sandwich

I am 70+, and this is my first blog entry. I adore peanut butter. I worship jelly. I really like butter. Yet, I had never had a peanut butter, jelly sandwich until about a week ago! I am going to have my second peanut butter jelly sandwich in a few minutes, and I am ecstatic about the whole idea. I wasted all those years eating only peanut butter or jelly sandwiches! Why didn't I listen to the rest of you?